Can you Be Nice and Get the Girl?

Although it tends to be true that nice guys finish last, it’s not always the case.  We are going to examine what it takes to be a nice guy and still get the girl – although we may have to change the definition of nice a bit.

When you think of a nice guy, what comes to mind?  A guy that buys a girl flowers, does everything she requests and puts her before himself?  That is generally the case with the generic “nice guy”.  So how can we change it so we aren’t an asshole, but we still get the girl?

Most of the time nice guy and loser are interchangeable.  Let’s reframe that, instead of being nice, let’s call it desirable, or better yet - attractive.  So what is an attractive guy?

An attractive guy is someone who has his shit together.  He’s not dependant on one girl for his own happiness.  He creates his own reality, he is goal oriented with a defined purpose.  This is attractive to women, a man with a purpose.  What would you rather have someone tell you, they work at Wal-Mart and they hate their job, or they’re currently working a part time job, to put themselves through school so they can become a lawyer?  Definitely the man with the plan.

An attractive guy is somebody who gives value and enjoyment into the interaction.  You do not have to be a jerk for people to enjoy your company.  What does providing value and enjoyment to the interaction mean?  It means teaching them something, perhaps how to say a few words in a foreign language.  Maybe you can share some tips from an interesting job you’ve had, or provide some insight from your travels to Europe and Asia.  Be creative – if you enjoy and find what you’re saying fascinating, they will too.

You can be a nice guy, the combination of being fun, interesting and confident will go a long way in helping you become an attractive guy that gets the girl.